"Somebodies Gotta Say It" (Blog #120)
We live in a world today that consists of worrying about hurting peoples feeling, rather than telling them the truth; even when we know the truth will help them in the long run. Being honest with people and telling them what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear is a great trait to possess. Recently, I went to a new tax company and he basically ripped me apart for not being anal enough about my income, expenses, overhead and just not keeping tight enough books. After an hour of him giving it to me straight, I was a little embarrassed and very humbled by the talk. He was one hundred percent correct, and it''s not what i wanted to hear, it's what i needed to hear. Having someone point things out to you and help you with a solution is vital if you want to improve weak areas in your life.
My job as a trainer is to put people in a position to be better at life. When a client is stronger, they become more active. When a client leans out, they become a better human. When a client gains confidence, their whole world improves. Sometimes I have to give doses of reality to get the client on the same page and let them know where they currently stand, and where we want them to be. These doses of reality can be hard to swallow, but to allow a three-hundred pound client to think their weight isn't going to be the reason they hit an early grave is down right wrong on my part. When I see a client with low bone density and is weaker than my four year old son, it's my job to make sure they fully understand that this is a huge issue and we have to combat it.
In life we all need a person that will shoot you straight. Most of your family members of friends will sugar coat things and will do everything in their power to avoid hurting your feeling; these people can actually do more harm than good for you. And unfortunately, many "friends" and family members don't want to see you change, even if that change is a positive one. If they see you changing for the better, that means the pressure is on them to make some changes.
Avoiding confrontation and being "PC" is what's in now, but it doesn't help people that need help, it hurts them. In the nicest way possible, you have to inform clients of any issues you see, and give them ways to improve. When a client slacks during a class, you better believe I'm quickly in their ear. I first ask them if everything ok (I want to ensure they're not hurt) quickly followed up by letting them know that their effort that day was poor and we need to change that. When a client comes in and is 40% body fat and tells me that they eat great and they don't know what the problem is, I immediately call them on that bullshit. The goal is to HELP them get better by any means necessary.
Try and be this way with yourself and your surrounding crew (family, friends, gym teammates), I'm not telling you to be mean at all, I'm telling you to be a positive force that creates positive changes in yourself and those around you. Don't be a "YES" person when you know that the right answer is "NO". The truth (in a polite / nonjudgmental) way is what we all need. I have a few buddies and mentors that are really hard on me, and it makes me better. If they see something I'm doing and they think it's wrong, they are on me quickly....And they aren't nice about it, but they do it in a way that shows me it's out of love, not hate.
"The hard choice and the right choice are usually the same choice"